Hello everyone — SuperAsurada77 here!
Today, I’m bringing you another retro classic that even us middle-aged gamers (with a little help from save states) can actually beat.
This is not a one-credit challenge. Life is already stressful enough — with kids, wives, jobs, and society piling on pressure every day, why add more stress by trying to 1CC a 1980s action game? 😅
This post might look long because of the many screenshots, but trust me — it’s worth it.
🪖 1988: KONAMI’s Legendary Run-and-Gun
Back in 1988, Konami released Contra — one of the most iconic run-and-gun shooters ever made.
In Korea, we used to call it “Hondra” for some reason.
Fun fact: Konami’s leadership actually hated the game business despite being a game-making powerhouse. And yet, Contra became a timeless classic when it hit the Famicom/NES.
Stage 1 – Jungle Assault
We’ve all been stuck replaying the first stage over and over again as kids. But with the magic of save/load, you can finally break through.
Boss: Technically, it’s a building — but yes, it’s the boss.
Crawl into position beneath each gun turret and unleash rapid fire.
We Korean gamers have done real military training — standing fire, kneeling fire, prone fire — so this is nothing. 😂
Stage 2 – 3D Base Attack
After destroying the entrance, you infiltrate the enemy base. This stage blew our minds back in the day — a 3D-style base run in an 8-bit game!
Stay prone to dodge the relentless bullets. Destroy the blue glowing cores in the center to advance. When the bullets stop, stand and fire.
Boss: Looks like a giant 1940s supercomputer. The blue energy shots can be destroyed with bullets. Keep moving and use turbo fire to blast it down.
Stage 3 – Mountain Mayhem
Here come the rolling boulders! Use save/load liberally — this stage is tough.
Boss: Alien vibes incoming. Destroy the arms first, then unload on the head for the win.
Stage 4 – Another Base Battle
Back to the 3D base gameplay. The same tactics work — and you’ll need them. You’ll probably die a lot here, but don’t give up!
Boss: Another giant machine, plus enemy soldiers. Hold your ground and keep firing. Then suddenly… a spaceship appears out of nowhere. By now, your D-pad reflexes should be godlike — use them to survive.
Stage 5 – Winter Warfare
The pixel art here is peak 8-bit nostalgia — snowy and atmospheric.
Mini-Boss: Spray and pray. Just keep shooting until it goes down.
Boss: An alien UFO! The Contra universe just keeps expanding.
Shoot both the ship and its projectiles. When it disappears and reappears, bombard it with bullets again.
Stage 6 – The Boss Gauntlet
This entire stage is basically a boss fight. You’ll lose a few lives — and that’s okay.
Just like how we “pay” for a new console with house chores or gifts for our wives, you’ll need to sacrifice some lives to win here. 😂
Boss: Jump over its attacks, shoot the weak points, and don’t stop firing — even if it throws weird weapons at you. You’ll probably beat it after losing a couple of lives.
Stage 7 – Brutal Battles
This level is as hard as any boss fight. Blast through the walls with rapid fire.
Boss: Absolutely brutal. The two purple turrets at the bottom fire three shots upward — hard to dodge, hard to hit. If you run out of lives, it’s okay to continue. Remember: this is still easier than raising kids or listening to your wife’s lectures. 😆
Stage 8 – The Final Mission
And then… aliens. Of course.
We all saw it coming — and yes, they probably paid for the license. 😂
Mid-Boss: Easy work.
Final Boss: The Alien Queen herself. If you’ve made it this far, victory is within reach. Sacrifice a few lives and finish the job!
🎉 The Ending – A Hero’s Reward
Our heroes complete the mission and escape the island by helicopter as the credits roll. No post-credit scenes here — just sore fingers, tired wrists, and strained eyes. Reward them with a couple of eye drops and a good stretch.
Congratulations!
You’ve defeated the evil Red Falcon and saved the universe. Think of yourself as a hero… though, like any hero, you’re rewarded with nothing but “passion pay.” 😅
And yet, tomorrow we’ll still get on the train and head home after another long day. That’s life — and that’s Contra.
🕹️ Final Thoughts
Contra isn’t just a game — it’s a time machine back to our childhood, and a great stress reliever for anyone over 40. With save states on your side, you can conquer it. So grab your controller, load those save files, and unleash hell on Red Falcon.
Good luck, soldiers — and happy gaming!
Original article in Korean: [link]