There’s nothing quite like the feeling of heading home after a great night out unwinding with old friends.
On the bus ride home, I whip out my smartphone out of habit to pay my respects to Him (?).
I already have a chic “Black” retro console cherished in my drawer.
But on the screen, I saw its soulmate—a brilliant ‘Blue’—sparkling at me.
“Huh? Wouldn’t Blue look amazing sitting next to Black?”
Suddenly, an angel and a devil start fighting inside my head.
👼 Reason: “Hey, look. You already have the Black one at home. One is enough.”
😈 Emotion: “No way, this isn’t for playing; it’s for the collection. You can’t resist the Black & Blue combo.”
Maybe it was the booze talking? My fingers slipped. I’ll just add it to the cart. No, wait, I need to think about this month’s credit card bill. Delete. But hey, keeping it in the cart doesn’t cost anything, right? Add again.
I swear… I only put it in the cart. Then I got home and passed out.
Overnight, the retro consoles magically multiplied.
Is this a dream? Or real life?
“Wait, what happened?!”
This is definitely a supernatural phenomenon. Was my console at home lonely? Did it use some kind of magic to undergo ‘mitosis’ behind my back?
There is no way I hit the checkout button. I was just holding my phone…
“My left hand was just for support!”
It must have been perfect shooting form… I mean, checkout form. I absolutely never ordered this. (I’m dead serious).
Well, what’s done is done. I have a new family member now, so I have to embrace it.
Look at those brilliant colors… Man, my taste (or rather, my left hand’s taste) is impeccable. This color coordination is perfection.
Now, let’s get you to your new home.
I open my treasure chest (my drawer). Peace of mind finally arrives as the new friend settles in.
I’m afraid of what color will tempt my left hand next, but for today, I’m just going to enjoy this brilliance.
Today’s Lesson: Opening a shopping app while tipsy is riskier than leaving a steak unguarded around a dog.
The commute home after a long, grinding day at work.
Unless you’re lucky enough to live right next to a subway station, most of us have to transfer from the train to a bus to get home.
Technically, I could walk the 20 to 30 minutes from the station to my house. But let’s be real—after surviving the daily grind, my energy bar is completely empty. So, I have no choice but to rely on the bus to save my legs.
However, these buses are notorious for their unpredictable schedules depending on traffic.
The interval is supposed to be 15 minutes, but when things go wrong, that gap can stretch to 30 or even 40 minutes.
Usually, I’d be fuming, but with zero stamina left, I just stand there and wait, resigned to my fate.
seeing “Next Bus: 28 Minutes” on the display board would normally make my blood boil.
But for a middle-aged retro gamer, the situation is completely reversed.
The moment I pull my retro handheld out of my bag and click the power button…
Right there, the bus stop transforms into my childhood bedroom. I’m instantly on a trip down memory lane.
This isn’t just a game console; it’s a time machine.
28 minutes until arrival? That’s plenty of time.
I can clear a few stages in Super Mario or play a quick match of Winning Eleven. Before I know it, the time has flown by.
For those 28 minutes, I’m back to being a kid.
As long as I have my retro console, even the waiting becomes part of the fun.
Retro gaming! For us middle-aged gamers, it’s not just a hobby—it’s our daily vitamin and therapy.
Standing in the “subway from hell” on my way to work, wearing my backpack on my front to make space, I naturally reach into my bag and pull out my retro handheld console.
That commute, which takes over an hour, turns into precious healing time—a chance to bring out those childhood vibes, the tactile feel of the buttons, and memories from back in the day.
The moment I step into the office and say “Good morning,” that retro vibe instantly shuts down. I have to tuck the game away deep in my heart for now.
For now, the console goes into charging mode.
The commute home is another ride on the subway from hell, squeezing in some retro gaming where I can. But the moment I arrive home, the “Infinite Loop Quest” begins.
Dishes. Recycling. Taking out the food waste. Bathing the kids. Playing with them. Putting them to bed.
Once this endless loop of quests is finally over, my own personal “Side Quest” awaits.
Finally… is it my time? The wife and kids are asleep. I turn on the PlayStation to start my quest, but then…
⚠️ System Update Required
The popup floats mercilessly on the screen. “Update 12%… 43%… 67%…”
As I stare at the progress bar, my eyelids get heavier and heavier.
My mind is already halfway to dreamland. Eventually, I fall asleep… and when I open my eyes, it’s time to head to work again.
This is the cold, hard reality for retro gamers in their 30s and 40s.
But still, to all the middle-aged retro gamers out there—hang in there! We’ve got this!
Today, let’s talk about the Retroid Pocket 5, currently available from Retroid.
This is an Android-based gaming handheld. Usually, when you game on a standard smartphone, heat buildup leads to thermal throttling, causing frame rate drops and lag. However, the Retroid Pocket 5 features an active cooling fan on the back. Even when things heat up, the fan keeps the device cool, meaning you’ll experience almost zero throttling.
It’s an Android device truly optimized for gaming, running on Android 13 out of the box.
Connectivity: Looking at the bottom, there’s a slot for a Micro SD card. It supports both a standard 3.5mm headphone jack and USB-C audio, so you have plenty of options for sound.
Controls: The L2 and R2 triggers are analog, allowing for precise pressure control—a huge plus for racing games.
However, since the analog stick is positioned quite close to the D-pad, there is a little bit of thumb interference when playing action games, though it’s not a dealbreaker.
Cooling & Ergonomics: You can actually see the fan through the back panel. It stays quiet most of the time, but once you fire up heavy 3D games, the smart fan kicks in to dissipate the heat.
The grips are ergonomically designed and feel decent in the hand, though I wouldn’t say they are the most comfortable I’ve ever used.
Specs & Weight: Weighing in at 282g (under the 300g mark), it has the perfect heft for portability.
The processor is a Snapdragon 865—the same chip found in the Samsung Galaxy S20. This means it can handle PS2 games at 2x resolution without breaking a sweat.
Performance Test: Nightshade (Kunoichi) First up is the PS2 classic, Nightshade (known as Kunoichi in Asia). This title stuttered a bit on the Retroid Pocket 4 Pro, but on the Pocket 5, it runs flawlessly at 2x resolution. I set the graphics backend to Vulkan for this one.
Performance Test: Onimusha 2Onimusha 2 also runs great at 2x resolution. However, a quick tip: if you use OpenGL, the character models might turn invisible. Make sure to select Vulkan to fix this glitch.
Performance Test: Soulcalibur IISoulcalibur II had some minor stuttering on the RP4 Pro at 2x resolution, but here on the Pocket 5? It’s buttery smooth.
Performance Test: Soulcalibur IIISoulcalibur III also runs perfectly at 2x resolution.
Performance Test: Tekken 5Tekken 5 handles 2x resolution with no issues.
Performance Test: Virtua Fighter 4Virtua Fighter 4 is solid at 2x resolution.
Performance Test: WWE SmackDown! Here Comes the PainWWE Here Comes the Pain also runs great at 2x resolution.
Screen, Battery & Verdict: Needless to say, PSP games run effortlessly—even God of War runs well at 4x resolution.
The bezels are thin, and since it’s an OLED panel, the true blacks are incredible. When playing 4:3 content, the letterboxing blends perfectly with the bezels, creating the illusion that you’re playing on a native 4:3 device.
Since it’s Android, you can install Netflix and YouTube. You can also listen to music via Bluetooth headphones while gaming. It’s the size of a standard phone, making it the perfect companion for your subway or bus commute.
Important Charging Warning: Unlike budget retro handhelds where high-voltage chargers can fry the motherboard, the Retroid Pocket 5 actually requires a charger that supports 9V or higher (PD charging) for fast and stable charging. If you try to use an old 5.1V charger, you risk overheating the charger itself.
Battery Life: The efficiency is impressive. I played Super Robot Wars Impact (PS2) for about an hour and a half, and it only drained about 10% battery. Also, while the RP4 Pro used to get warm, the RP5 stays incredibly cool. I really love this aspect of the device.
Conclusion: All things considered, the Retroid Pocket 5 is the best retro handheld I’ve played so far. The only downside? The price. It’s a bit steep (over $200 USD).
I’m already looking forward to Retroid’s next product. Please, Retroid, give us a 4-inch+ device with a native 4:3 screen next time!
Note on Setup: Keep in mind that Android handhelds don’t come with emulators pre-installed. There is a stock launcher, but I barely use it.
