In retro games, if you make a mistake or die, you just reload your last SAVE point.
It’s the ultimate cheat code—convenient, powerful, and safe.
But reality? Once you crash, it’s game over. One moment of distraction implies an immediate payment.
I learned this the hard way at the gas station.
My car runs on Diesel. But my traitorous finger decided to tap “Premium Gasoline” on the pump instead.
※ What to Do When You Misfuel (Gas in a Diesel Engine)
Step 1: Panic (briefly).
Step 2:DO NOT START THE ENGINE. (Critical ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐)
If you DON’T start the engine: Just a tank flush/cleaning. Cost: approx. $450.
If you DO start the engine: Major fuel system & engine repair. Cost: $3,000+.
Step 3: Call your insurance or a tow truck immediately.
Here is the irony of modern cars:
To tow the car, you must release the electronic parking brake.
To release the parking brake, you must turn the ignition/power ON.
Turning the power ON primes the low-pressure fuel pump (circulating the wrong fuel).
Result: You have to fix the low-pressure pump anyway just to get towed. It’s a catch-22.
If I had started the engine, I’d be out $3,000. Since I kept it off, I “defended” my wallet with only a $450 loss.
I mentally mashed the ‘Load Game’ button over and over… but reality simply completed the transaction with a text message alerting me of the $450 charge.
Stay sharp at the pump, everyone. Real life has no save files.
We live in an era where modern life seems impossible without smartphones. But we often forget that just 40 years ago, none of this technology existed. So, what did we do for fun back then?
Let’s go back to 1980s Seoul. No Netflix, no YouTube, and no internet in the palm of your hand. Although we didn’t have the flashy entertainment we have today, looking back, my only memories are of playing outside with friends all day long until dinner.
🚩 Our Playground Was Simply the “Alleyway”
After school, we’d throw our bags at home and shout our friends’ names one by one. “Hey Gil-dong! Come out and plaaay!” The moment we got permission from our moms, we’d roam the neighborhood, summoning the rest of the crew.
We used to play with folded paper tiles called “Ttakji.” Back then, Ttakji was our smartphone. “All the Ttakji in this neighborhood are mine now!”
We would cry and laugh over a single piece of paper, nurturing our grand ambition(?) to conquer the entire neighborhood.
When the Ttakji game was over, we became Maradona, we became Cha Bum (a Korean soccer legend), and we roamed the alleyways. The passion we had back then, running until we were out of breath, seems hotter than any professional sport today.
🇰🇷 5 PM, Time Frozen
Even when we were fully immersed in soccer, something magical happened at 5 PM. The National Anthem would ring out from somewhere, and as if promised, all the friends who were running around wildly would stop and salute the flag. At that time, we were just taught to salute when the anthem played. Back then, we listened to adults incredibly well!
🦸♂️ Imagination Becomes Reality, A Season We Forgot the Cold
On days when we watched the dubbed Superman movie on TV, we would all tie a wrapping cloth around our necks and fly through the alleys like Superman. I never doubted that I could fly, although my legs did hurt a little.
When winter came, even if our hands and feet felt like they were going to freeze and burst, we didn’t know how to go inside. Winter was purely joyful as long as I was with my friends and our wooden sleds.
Then one day, the scenery of the alleyway began to change little by little. A friend brought a small portable game console. All the neighborhood kids put their heads together to see that tiny black-and-white screen. Compared to today’s flashy graphics, it was just a shabby lump of pixels, but it was a shocking device that gave us chills. Of course, I still cherish that game console in my drawer.
✨ The True Meaning of ‘Retro’
I consider the games we enjoyed back then to be true “retro.” Time has flown by, and I’ve become a middle-aged man, but my childhood self still lives in my heart.
There’s nothing quite like the feeling of heading home after a great night out unwinding with old friends.
On the bus ride home, I whip out my smartphone out of habit to pay my respects to Him (?).
I already have a chic “Black” retro console cherished in my drawer.
But on the screen, I saw its soulmate—a brilliant ‘Blue’—sparkling at me.
“Huh? Wouldn’t Blue look amazing sitting next to Black?”
Suddenly, an angel and a devil start fighting inside my head.
👼 Reason: “Hey, look. You already have the Black one at home. One is enough.”
😈 Emotion: “No way, this isn’t for playing; it’s for the collection. You can’t resist the Black & Blue combo.”
Maybe it was the booze talking? My fingers slipped. I’ll just add it to the cart. No, wait, I need to think about this month’s credit card bill. Delete. But hey, keeping it in the cart doesn’t cost anything, right? Add again.
I swear… I only put it in the cart. Then I got home and passed out.
Overnight, the retro consoles magically multiplied.
Is this a dream? Or real life?
“Wait, what happened?!”
This is definitely a supernatural phenomenon. Was my console at home lonely? Did it use some kind of magic to undergo ‘mitosis’ behind my back?
There is no way I hit the checkout button. I was just holding my phone…
“My left hand was just for support!”
It must have been perfect shooting form… I mean, checkout form. I absolutely never ordered this. (I’m dead serious).
Well, what’s done is done. I have a new family member now, so I have to embrace it.
Look at those brilliant colors… Man, my taste (or rather, my left hand’s taste) is impeccable. This color coordination is perfection.
Now, let’s get you to your new home.
I open my treasure chest (my drawer). Peace of mind finally arrives as the new friend settles in.
I’m afraid of what color will tempt my left hand next, but for today, I’m just going to enjoy this brilliance.
Today’s Lesson: Opening a shopping app while tipsy is riskier than leaving a steak unguarded around a dog.
Back in my middle and high school days, my friends always had the high-end gear: the Sega Genesis, Super Nintendo (SNES), TurboDuo, and the Neo Geo.
At my house, we had the trusty 8-bit NES. It was a powerful machine in its own right, but I couldn’t help but feel envious of my friends.
I remember the visual shock of seeing the protagonist transform into a wolf in Altered Beast on the TurboGrafx-16. I was floored by the fact that you could play Fatal Fury 2 and Art of Fighting 2 right in your living room with the Neo Geo. I gasped in awe at the intensity of Goku’s special moves in Dragon Ball Z: Super Butōden on the SNES. And the flashy animations on the TurboDuo? They blew my mind—I couldn’t tell if I was watching an anime or playing a game. It was pure chaos in the best way possible.
I used to save up my allowance to buy gaming magazines, playing the games in my imagination just by staring at the screenshots. Sadly, all those magazines I collected vanished somewhere along the way—lost while I was away for military service. But they remain precious memories to me.
I remember making a vow to myself while playing Art of Fighting 2 at the arcade. “Just wait! When I grow up and make my own money, I’m going to buy every single 16-bit console and arcade game out there.” That was my wish.
Time flew by like an arrow. We shifted from the analog age to the digital era. I went from a student to a middle-aged man. I’ve built a family, I’m raising kids, and I’m busy living in the present. But sometimes, the nostalgia hits, and memories of those games suddenly come rushing back.
And then, I remembered that old wish.
Wait… realized that my wish actually did come true! Haha.
Whether it’s during my commute or lying in bed after tucking the kids in, this handheld retro game console in my hands is exactly what I wished for.
Inside this tiny portable device lives every console my friends had and all those games I wanted. I can pull it out and play whenever I want! My dream really became reality.
I guess I should thank my younger self for making that wish.
The commute home after a long, grinding day at work.
Unless you’re lucky enough to live right next to a subway station, most of us have to transfer from the train to a bus to get home.
Technically, I could walk the 20 to 30 minutes from the station to my house. But let’s be real—after surviving the daily grind, my energy bar is completely empty. So, I have no choice but to rely on the bus to save my legs.
However, these buses are notorious for their unpredictable schedules depending on traffic.
The interval is supposed to be 15 minutes, but when things go wrong, that gap can stretch to 30 or even 40 minutes.
Usually, I’d be fuming, but with zero stamina left, I just stand there and wait, resigned to my fate.
seeing “Next Bus: 28 Minutes” on the display board would normally make my blood boil.
But for a middle-aged retro gamer, the situation is completely reversed.
The moment I pull my retro handheld out of my bag and click the power button…
Right there, the bus stop transforms into my childhood bedroom. I’m instantly on a trip down memory lane.
This isn’t just a game console; it’s a time machine.
28 minutes until arrival? That’s plenty of time.
I can clear a few stages in Super Mario or play a quick match of Winning Eleven. Before I know it, the time has flown by.
For those 28 minutes, I’m back to being a kid.
As long as I have my retro console, even the waiting becomes part of the fun.
Retro gaming! For us middle-aged gamers, it’s not just a hobby—it’s our daily vitamin and therapy.
Standing in the “subway from hell” on my way to work, wearing my backpack on my front to make space, I naturally reach into my bag and pull out my retro handheld console.
That commute, which takes over an hour, turns into precious healing time—a chance to bring out those childhood vibes, the tactile feel of the buttons, and memories from back in the day.
The moment I step into the office and say “Good morning,” that retro vibe instantly shuts down. I have to tuck the game away deep in my heart for now.
For now, the console goes into charging mode.
The commute home is another ride on the subway from hell, squeezing in some retro gaming where I can. But the moment I arrive home, the “Infinite Loop Quest” begins.
Dishes. Recycling. Taking out the food waste. Bathing the kids. Playing with them. Putting them to bed.
Once this endless loop of quests is finally over, my own personal “Side Quest” awaits.
Finally… is it my time? The wife and kids are asleep. I turn on the PlayStation to start my quest, but then…
⚠️ System Update Required
The popup floats mercilessly on the screen. “Update 12%… 43%… 67%…”
As I stare at the progress bar, my eyelids get heavier and heavier.
My mind is already halfway to dreamland. Eventually, I fall asleep… and when I open my eyes, it’s time to head to work again.
This is the cold, hard reality for retro gamers in their 30s and 40s.
But still, to all the middle-aged retro gamers out there—hang in there! We’ve got this!
Usually, people choose retro game consoles based on price and performance specs. While that works for the younger crowd, for a family man balancing work and childcare, the criteria change completely. It’s not about the fastest processor—it’s about how much “Dad Time” you actually have.
Here are my recommendations for the best handhelds tailored to your specific stage of parenting.
1. The “New Dad” Stage (Toddler / 1-2 Years Old)Recommendation: Anbernic RG35XX SP
If you are a dad in your early 30s with a toddler, the RG35XX SP is your best friend.
Let’s be honest—you can’t just sit on the couch and game openly anymore. You need something for those short, stealthy sessions while the baby is finally napping. This device is compact, foldable, and perfect for sneaking in quick gaming breaks without getting caught. It’s the compact economy car of handhelds—small, efficient, and gets the job done.
Think of this as the reliable sedan (like a Honda Civic or Hyundai Elantra) of the handheld world—a perfect balance of design, performance, and price. You’ve finally graduated from all-day diaper duty, but you aren’t completely free yet. This device fits that “in-between” phase perfectly, offering a great experience for the pockets of free time you’re starting to get back.
At this point, you need the Retroid Pocket 5. It offers stable performance, much like a solid mid-size sedan (think Sonata or Camry).
Parenting is getting a little easier, and you’re starting to see glimpses of “me time” again. This console is perfect for blowing off steam and enjoying some PlayStation 2 games comfortably. It’s a reliable daily driver that won’t let you down.
4. The “Middle/High School” Stage (Early 40s)Recommendation: RG477M
Time flew by so fast you can barely remember the sleepless nights, right? Consider this device a reward for your survival.
The RG477M feels like a premium full-size sedan—think Hyundai Grandeur (Azera) or a Lexus. It has a luxurious metal build and a heavy, quality feel. It plays PS2 games at 3x resolution without breaking a sweat, and that 4.7-inch 4:3 screen is absolutely optimized for retro gaming. You’ve earned this upgrade.
5. The “Veteran Dad” Stage (Late 40s)Recommendation: AYN Odin 2
Now we are talking about high performance. The Odin 2 is the Genesis G80 of handhelds—pure luxury and power.
It handles high-end games with plenty of headroom. If you want a zero-compromise experience that reflects your status as a veteran dad, this is the one.
6. The Ultimate SetupRecommendation: AYN Odin 2 Portal
If the Odin 2 is a luxury sedan, the Odin 2 Portal is the high-end luxury SUV (like the GV80).
By this age, you’ve become immune to your wife’s side-eye. She’s used to your hobbies now. You’ve earned the right to sprawl out on the living room sofa, comfortable and unbothered, enjoying your games on a top-tier device.
So, which stage of fatherhood are you in, and which console fits your life right now?
Today, let’s talk about the Retroid Pocket 5, currently available from Retroid.
This is an Android-based gaming handheld. Usually, when you game on a standard smartphone, heat buildup leads to thermal throttling, causing frame rate drops and lag. However, the Retroid Pocket 5 features an active cooling fan on the back. Even when things heat up, the fan keeps the device cool, meaning you’ll experience almost zero throttling.
It’s an Android device truly optimized for gaming, running on Android 13 out of the box.
Connectivity: Looking at the bottom, there’s a slot for a Micro SD card. It supports both a standard 3.5mm headphone jack and USB-C audio, so you have plenty of options for sound.
Controls: The L2 and R2 triggers are analog, allowing for precise pressure control—a huge plus for racing games.
However, since the analog stick is positioned quite close to the D-pad, there is a little bit of thumb interference when playing action games, though it’s not a dealbreaker.
Cooling & Ergonomics: You can actually see the fan through the back panel. It stays quiet most of the time, but once you fire up heavy 3D games, the smart fan kicks in to dissipate the heat.
The grips are ergonomically designed and feel decent in the hand, though I wouldn’t say they are the most comfortable I’ve ever used.
Specs & Weight: Weighing in at 282g (under the 300g mark), it has the perfect heft for portability.
The processor is a Snapdragon 865—the same chip found in the Samsung Galaxy S20. This means it can handle PS2 games at 2x resolution without breaking a sweat.
Performance Test: Nightshade (Kunoichi) First up is the PS2 classic, Nightshade (known as Kunoichi in Asia). This title stuttered a bit on the Retroid Pocket 4 Pro, but on the Pocket 5, it runs flawlessly at 2x resolution. I set the graphics backend to Vulkan for this one.
Performance Test: Onimusha 2Onimusha 2 also runs great at 2x resolution. However, a quick tip: if you use OpenGL, the character models might turn invisible. Make sure to select Vulkan to fix this glitch.
Performance Test: Soulcalibur IISoulcalibur II had some minor stuttering on the RP4 Pro at 2x resolution, but here on the Pocket 5? It’s buttery smooth.
Performance Test: Soulcalibur IIISoulcalibur III also runs perfectly at 2x resolution.
Performance Test: Tekken 5Tekken 5 handles 2x resolution with no issues.
Performance Test: Virtua Fighter 4Virtua Fighter 4 is solid at 2x resolution.
Performance Test: WWE SmackDown! Here Comes the PainWWE Here Comes the Pain also runs great at 2x resolution.
Screen, Battery & Verdict: Needless to say, PSP games run effortlessly—even God of War runs well at 4x resolution.
The bezels are thin, and since it’s an OLED panel, the true blacks are incredible. When playing 4:3 content, the letterboxing blends perfectly with the bezels, creating the illusion that you’re playing on a native 4:3 device.
Since it’s Android, you can install Netflix and YouTube. You can also listen to music via Bluetooth headphones while gaming. It’s the size of a standard phone, making it the perfect companion for your subway or bus commute.
Important Charging Warning: Unlike budget retro handhelds where high-voltage chargers can fry the motherboard, the Retroid Pocket 5 actually requires a charger that supports 9V or higher (PD charging) for fast and stable charging. If you try to use an old 5.1V charger, you risk overheating the charger itself.
Battery Life: The efficiency is impressive. I played Super Robot Wars Impact (PS2) for about an hour and a half, and it only drained about 10% battery. Also, while the RP4 Pro used to get warm, the RP5 stays incredibly cool. I really love this aspect of the device.
Conclusion: All things considered, the Retroid Pocket 5 is the best retro handheld I’ve played so far. The only downside? The price. It’s a bit steep (over $200 USD).
I’m already looking forward to Retroid’s next product. Please, Retroid, give us a 4-inch+ device with a native 4:3 screen next time!
Note on Setup: Keep in mind that Android handhelds don’t come with emulators pre-installed. There is a stock launcher, but I barely use it.
